You guys, we had a yelling, screaming morning. It was total chaos. When everyone left, I took a second to breathe and think about how it could’ve gone differently. (Let’s just say…. Sloane was having a six-year-old tantrum and I met her tantrum and raised her one forty-year-old mama tantrum.)
For me, staying present and centered is usually the answer to whatever issue I am struggling with at the moment with one or all three of my kids. Regardless of the context, I know my children are begging me to SEE them and HEAR them. When they are misbehaving or whining or refusing to get dressed…. they want me to be in their struggle. They need me to acknowledge it. This being said, It doesn’t mean we have to bend on the limit that we’ve already set. It does not mean that they don’t have to finish that homework or put on their shoes. It does mean that if we can step out of the immediate chaos of the tantrum and just look our children in the eyes and hug them, even if its only for a minute, it really helps.
You know what else helps? Knowing that it’s not about you or your parenting. Kids need to struggle. They need to tantrum. When we can control our impulse to join the yelling and carrying on, the difference is tremendous. When we can stay calm under the pressure of their emotions, everyone wins.
I am certainly not saying that I’m always capable of this kind of parenting, but when I can muster it up, it REALLY helps. This morning was total chaos in our house. I jumped right into the mess. Next time, I will try harder.
Here’s the thing. Sometimes we all need help. When I need help in the parenting department I often turn to books. I return to the same favorites I’ve read in years past. Even just skimming helps jog my memory and get back in a better head space.
There are so many phenomenal books and podcasts out there. Today I am sharing my personal favorites with you.
Top Five Parenting Books:
Below are the parenting books that i find myself returning to again and again. (The Louise Bates Ames book is just an example. She has an entire series and I LOVE it.)
So, tell me, how do you help yourself when your kids are losing their minds and you are about to lose yours too?
*some of these are affiliate links. Thank you for supporting The Workspace for Children.