MESSY PLAY/ CLEAN HOUSE? YES! HERE'S HOW...

This post is written in partnership with LorenaCanals Rugs.  All ideas, thoughts, and opinions are my own.

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Guys, you might not believe this about me, but I am a bit of a neat freak.  Clutter seriously throws me for a loop and when my house is a mess, my life is a mess.  I really wish I could be one of those moms who can let go of toys strewn about, play dough ground into the rug, laundry piling up.  I actually envy these people. But, I am not one of them.... I feel stressed all day if I leave a messy kitchen behind and carry on with my day.  BUT, I also love messy play.  I love when my children paint and use clay.  Sand and glitter do not freak me out and I even encourage my kids to gather buckets of mud and play in them.  Over the years I have developed a few hacks to successfully combine my passion for messy play and my love of a tidy house.  

1.  I married a fellow neat freak//  My husband can clean a kitchen something fierce.  He's never met a load of laundry, a pile of dishes or a bucket of sloppy paint jars he couldn't tackle. He's. The. Best.  He doesn't exactly embrace the messy side of things, but he is damn good at dealing with it.

2. Drop Cloth//  They are everything.  A large drop cloth on the floor or over the table frees me from worrying about paint spills or permanent markers.  I have three industrial size drop cloths in rotation at all times.  Ruby especially loves to look at the spills, stains, and marks we've accumulated over the years.  Each mark on the drop cloth serves as a treasured memory of projects past.  

3.  Bins//  When we are using a sensory bin inside (rice, shaving cream, oobleck) I put a smaller bin of the material inside a much larger bin.  This way when the rice inevitably spills over the side of the first bin, it falls right into the second bin.  Make sense?  No need to sweep, just dump the spill from one bin back into the other.  

4. Washable Rug// What? Yes. A machine-washable, natural rug that looks and feels amazing.  We have one in our playroom so that when the kids make playdough food for their animals or draw and color signs for the block buildings, I am cool as a cucumber.  No worries from this Mama.  "Sure guys, juice boxes and snacks are allowed in this playroom!" When they inevitably spill juice or get marker on my rug, I can toss it in the washing machine.  Amazing.  You can find this one HERE.  

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What's your mess-comfort level? Are you an anything goes kind of mom or do prefer to keep things tidy? 

-Lizzie 

OUR TOP FIVE BEDTIME STRUGGLES SOLVED

As the kids get older, bedtime gets easier.  No, it doesn't exactly get easy, but it does get easier.  Here's a little picture of the bedtime trials and tribulations with our newly-minted five-year-old.  I've broken it all down into complaint/ solution...  I hope some of our simple solutions work for you! 

(This post is written in partnership with Dock A Tot.  All opinions and ideas are my own. ) 

Complaint number one: It’s too dark!!  Solution: Dave installed a dimmer on the light switch and now she can sleep with her lights on the dim setting all night long. 

 Complaint: I won’t know when it is morning!  (So I will find it necessary to get up a thousand times to ask you if it is morning yet).

Solution: Hatch Baby Rest (night light, sound machine, ok-to wake, all in one device).  We use this both as a sound machine and an ok-to-wake light.  I particulary love this device for two reasons.   The first is that it is controllable via Bluetooth through my phone.  I can turn the sound up if the big kids are being noisy and I can easily change the wake-up time right from my phone! Yay! (You can find one HERE). 

Complaint: I’m thirsty!

Solution:  Cup of water next to the bed.  I only put a few inches of water in so that if it spills, it’s not a big deal.  If you are concerned about spillage, you could try this still-proof cup.  

Complaint: What If I wake up before the green light (ok to wake signal) and I want to play? She literally asks this question every. single. night.  

Solution: Sloane sleeps with her two favorite Angel Dear loveys every night.  They serve as both a toy and a security blanket.  She’s had her pink owl since she was a new-born baby.  I love these security blanket/ lovey dolls and they are always my go-to baby gift for new moms.  (You can find them HERE. )

Complaint: My pillow fell out of bed and I’m scared to get it! What if I fall out? 

Solution:  Dock A Tot Grand.  When we moved Sloane to a bed around two years old, we opted not to use a bed rail.  In my opinion, bed rail make cuddling tricky and tidying the bed is near-impossible!! So, right from the begining, I would just set her pillows in a U-shaped formation and tuck in her in tight.  It pretty much worked- I think she only fell out of bed maybe once?  Until recently… In the past six moths or so, Sloane has been knocking her pillows out of her bed.  For some reason, she is terrified of reaching down and getting them herself.  This has led to many middle of the night crying jags, followed by me dragging myself into her room to arrange her pillows- not exactly what I want to be doing at four in the morning.  After quite a few interrupted nights, I decided to check out the Dock A Tot.  This cozy contraption is everything.  Sloane loves it, she cuddles right in, blankets go up and over and nothing/ no one falls out of bed in the night and everyone stays asleep. She even brings it downstairs for movie night or into her sister’s room for a sleep-over.  The only problem? I want one in my size.  This thing is legit-comfortable. Now, if they could only find a way to solve the whole, "I don't want to sleep by myself" conundrum...  Any ideas??

SPREADING LOVE AND KINDNESS IN HONOR OF VALENTINE'S DAY

We are kicking off Valentine's Day (month) with a fantastic giveaway and three simple ways to spread love and kindness within your own community this month. I've teamed up with Primary, Ooly, and Smarties Candy to bring you easy, fun activities to do as a family this month.  Make sure to head over to my Instagram Feed  to for a chance to win a mega-prize from these three brnads!

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SURPRISE SOMEONE WITH A HOMEMADE CARD

The children and I used  markers, stickers and paint sticks from @weareooly to make simple valentine cards for people in our community.  Here's how we did it...

I invited the children to think of a person in our community (school, neighborhood, town) that could use a little kindness this month.  We had a meaningful discussion about who might need a little extra kindness and why. I was so happy to hear my older two children (8 and 10) talk to one another about people in their schools who are so helpful, but rarely get thanked or recognized. They talked for a while about who they would each choose.  Nate decided on his school art teacher and the P.E. teacher.  Ruby decided to make a card for everyone on our street because she thinks everyone contributes to all the fun we have playing outside together.  My little one (4) didn’t really grasp the concept, but she delighted in making Valentine cards for her friends! When the cards were complete, Ruby loved sneaking her cards into mailboxes up and down our street. 

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VALENTINE COOKIES FOR NEIGHBORS AND FRIENDS

Later in the week, we made Valentine Cookies.  In an effort to keep things very simple, I purchased premade cookie dough (no shame in my baking game) and baked some heart shaped cookies while the kids were at school.  I colored some white, store-bought frosting with food coloring and  set out some little Valentine candies.  This activity was about gathering to make something for friends and neighbors, and I didn't want to burn myself out by making cookies from scratch, or by baking with the kids.  I like to remake everything and have it ready to go because simple activities make for a more relaxed experience.  The children arrived home from school to find the table set with frosting cookies and candies.  They were ecstatic!  They chomped on cookies, decorated some, and chatted about their day.  

When our cookies were ready to go, we popped them on some festive trays , bundled up, and the children rang doorbells and passed out cookies to brighten the day of our neighbors.  It was REALLY fun! It was also REALLY easy.  

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RANDOM ACTS OF SWEETNESS

Next up? We left messages of kindness and LOVE in the form of candy... Smarties Candy!! The lovely folks over at Smarties gave us tons of beautiful Valentine candy to leave on doorsteps, in mailboxes and on windshields all over town.  The kids had an awesome time munching on Smarties and writing little messages.  The best part? Sneaking around leaving treats.  As they fell asleep last night, they were all giggles as they thought about how people felt when they discovered candies on their windshields.  

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There you have it, three easy ways to celebrate Valentine's Day while spending time together and brightening the days of those in your community.  How will your family celebrate this year? 

This post was sponsored by Primary, Ooly and Smarties.  All thoughts and opinions are my own.  

Thank you for following along. Don't forget to hop over to Instagram to win some great goodies!! 

-Lizzie 

THAT TIME I SENT MY CHILDREN TO THE STORE....ALONE!

I sent my kids to the grocery store with an empty wagon, $35, and a list…here’s what happened.

It was a Sunday afternoon and my youngest child was out with my husband.  I was cleaning the house and getting ready for the week ahead.  My big kids (seven and ten) were underfoot and creating clutter everywhere! (Did I mention I was attempting to clean?)  I was getting ready to meal prep and I was missing a few things. So…. I sent the kids to the store. We live about a half-mile from our town center, which happens to be a quaint little village.  My kids are comfortable out and about without me and I’m at ease with it as well. 

This little trip would shoo them out of my hair, and get me the groceries I needed.  Win-win. I gave them $35, which was more than what they would need, a list, and our wagon.  They were instructed to walk straight to the market and then back home. No stops along the way. 

I trust them to follow my instructions because they’ve practiced for years.  We started when they were very little.  I would allow them to drop something at the next-door neighbor’s house all by themselves when they were three years old.  I would watch through the window as their self-confidence EXPLODED.  As they matured, I provided them with the opportunities to go a little farther.  In the grocery store, I would let them go to another aisle, get one thing and come straight back.  They practiced ordering from the deli counter at a very young age.  They know how to order food in a restaurant and how to ask for directions to the restrooms.  When they were little, and even sometimes now, I watched and stayed nearby to keep them safe. They all learned our phone number and last name just as soon as they could talk.  (I taught them by making up a little song to help them memorize it).  

So, on that Sunday, Nate and Ruby went to the store, filled the wagon with what they needed and returned home. They were happy, I was happy.  Off they went to play. 

Later that evening, I asked them how it went, and what challenges, if any, they ran into.  They looked at each other and giggled.   Then they explained the two main issues they ran into. 

The first problem was that the wagon wouldn’t fit through the narrow doors of the supermarket.  They didn’t know where to park it because they were worried it would get taken or that it might roll away.  They weren’t sure they’d be able to carry the groceries home if they didn’t have the wagon.  After some discussion, they decided on a spot they thought would work and it did. 

The second issue they encountered was when the store was out of our usual brand of whole milk.  They couldn’t decide if they should skip it altogether or buy another kind.  In the end, they decided to purchase another brand.

Neither of these situations are particularly problematic.  Nothing bad would have happened if they had made an alternative decision. The important thing is that they had the opportunity to problem solve in the real world when the stakes were low. 

I’m going to say that again because I think it is so important.  They had the opportunity to problem solve in the real world when the stakes were low.  Why is this so important? I fear that many of our children are not learning how to navigate situations without us or without relying on technology to solve the problem for them.  Giving children the opportunity to practice important life skills when they are young is crucial to how they will handle real life when they are older and the stakes are much, much higher. 

And no, my kids did not have a cell phone to bring on their journey.  If they had one with them, what do you think they would’ve done when they ran into problem number one? They would’ve called me and asked me to solve the problem for them. 

As parents, it is so tempting to keep our children cocooned up as long as we can.  We are hardwired to want to catch them before they fall.  But what if we thought of keeping them safe in another light? What if we thought about letting them fall down while we are still here to help them get up? I want my kids to learn how to fail.  They must know how to face a small problem before they can attempt a big one.  They need to get lost so they can practice finding their way home.  They need to develop confidence in their ability to help themselves.  I am teaching them to trust their own instincts and abilities by giving them the opportunity to practice.

Do you allow your children some independence? I know it is not your typical sighting to see a seven and ten-year-old shopping alone at the grocery store...

Please let me know your thoughts on this topic in the comments below.  Thank you for reading and for following along on my parenting journey. 

Has Your Child Stopped Napping? Quiet Time Solved.

Do your young children have down time? I mean REAL down time. Time to be bored, time to make up aimless games and stories?  Do they have the opportunity to spend time alone? Truly alone, not alone with an iPad.  Do they have quiet time carved out for them as part of the day? Mine do. And yours can too. You and your children deserve some down time.  I am going to help you get it.  

Why My Family Needs Consistent Quiet time:

I rely on this quiet, independent playtime everyday because I need it. I crave it.  So do my kids.  Without a little while each day to just sit still, I go all crazy and moody.  And if I go crazy, my whole house turns into a zoo. A wild, untamed, unhappy zoo.

It's no secret that I am not good at the constant go-go-go.  It stresses me out and I become an impatient yeller.  (My neighbors can vouch for this. They see me yelling and hustling children in and out the my car.  ALL. THE. TIME.) For our family, the antidote to the crazy is taking a few moments of quiet time.  Chilling out.  Yes, you can teach your kids the art of chilling out.  It  takes commitment, consistency, and a little bit of creativity. 

We all need a break.  I’m going to tell you how we carve out a break almost every day. I really believe all children can learn to have quiet time.  I have heard many people talk about how their first-borns are too needy, or their boys too active.  They worry that without a screen in front of them, or an adult to play with, their children cannot chill. They can. I promise. It will take some work on your end, but it's worth it.

My Family's Quiet Time Rules:

1.    You are alone (not with your sister or brother, and DEFINITELY not with me.)

2.    You are playing, reading, creating, or sleeping.

3.    Your time is self-directed.

Of course, those guidelines look very different for a four year old, seven year old and ten year old. 

Four Year Old Quiet Time:

For Sloane, quiet time is often brief.  About 35 to 40 minutes. It is usually spent in her room or in our little playroom/den.  Lately, her activity of choice is playing babies, dollhouse, or blocks. 

Seven Year Old Quiet Time: 

Ruby loves art.  So, quiet time for her is drawing, sewing, beading- any kind of making.  Making is her gift.  Quiet time-making happens in her room, therefore, it needs to be non-messy making.  Her quiet time can last anywhere from twenty-five minutes to an hour.  She gets lonely.  Her personality demands she be part of a crowd. It's who she is. An hour of ‘alone’ is more than enough for her.  

Ten Year Old Quiet Time:

Nate is airplane-obsessed.  So, his quiet time almost always involves drawing and tracing airplanes.  He wants to use the light table for tracing. The Light table is kept in our kitchen and his quiet time is set in his room, so the clever little guy set himself up a tracing station in his room.  He tapes his work up to the sunny window and the light comes through. Perfect for his tracing habit. He also enjoys time with legos and magnatiles.  His quiet time can run well over an hour when he has the luxury of time. 

Nature vs Nurture:  

Like I said earlier, I believe all children can enjoy some quiet time.  I believe that all children NEED downtime, especially in our chaotic world.   I know that it does not come easily to everyone.  My oldest child is dreamy by nature.  He beats to his own drum and has always been able to occupy himself.   Even as a young toddler, he was happy with his cars and trucks and blocks for long periods of time. My middle child is not this way at all.  When she gave up her nap (before two years old!), I nearly lost my mind.  She always wanted a playmate, was into everything and I could not deal.  Her nap time was during her brother’s quiet time and my time to chill for a minute.  There was no way I could give up those few moments of peace.  So, I taught her how to be independent.  

Know That Quiet Time can be a Learned Skill....Believe it. 

Here's how we did it.... First, I made sure I really filled her up before quiet time.  Ruby had lunch and her milk.  More importantly, we read and played together.  I gave her a period of undivided attention and labeled that time.  We set the timer for 15 minutes and played together.  No interuptions from the phone, her brother, the doorbell, etc.   Barring an emergency, there was NO distraction.  I promised her that.  It was our “play together” time. 

After that was her “quiet time”.  Again, we set the timer.  The first day for 5 minutes, the next day 10 minutes and so on.  The timer defined our time.  Not me.  This is important.  I would say, “The timer will tell you when our time is over.”

In the early days,  I would set out some simple invitations to play.  A small blanket with a pretty bowl full of gems and a mirror for arranging them.  Or a mat with a dollhouse and a few people and animals.  A child-sized table with paper and colored pencils and stickers.  You get the idea.  If not, get on Instagram and plug in the hashtag #invitationtoplay.  It’ll fuel you. 

Invitations should be open-ended.  Your child should be able to take the material wherever his or her mind goes. 

To me, quiet time is a form of meditation.  Meditation is an ongoing practice.  Quiet time over here is always evolving, changing forms and continues to be ongoing.  Sometimes we hit a rut and need to shake things up a bit.  Sometimes, we have a few days where it just isn’t possible.  On those days, I know I can expect more whining, fighting and general crankiness (from me and the kids). 

When we’ve hit a rut, I might mix things up by rotating toys, putting materials in an unexpected location, or setting up a more involved invitation to play.  If it’s nice weather, one of the kids will have their quiet time outside on the deck in our tinker space.  My oldest might choose the basement where his piano and his work bench live.  It all depends on the day.  I’ve learned to expect the unexpected and I try to be as flexible as I can. 

What if my Child Keeps Coming out of his Room?

Keep walking them back.  Just like the experts say when your child keeps coming down at bedtime.  When Ruby was small, she wouldl test me by coming out of her room multiple times.  Each time I would neutrally walk her back, reminding her that the timer didn't say it was time to come out yet.  It was a bit trying at times, but TOTALLY WORTH IT. She learned the skill of quiettime through repetition and mastery.  She learned to love quiettime when the routine was set, and it wasn't even a question anymore.  At that point, she figured out how much fun she could have all on her own.  

One of the most important things I want to pass to my kids is the gift of being bored.   I want them to be alone with their thoughts, to sit with themselves and contemplate.  Insisting on quiet time  is the gift I give to my family and to myself.

There are tons of great articles on the benefits of quiet, independent play.  I linked some here and here.  You can also look on Instagram or Pinterest for inspirational invitations to play.  However, keep it as simple as you can.  You absolutely do not need to go out and buy anything new, nor do you need to spend more than 5 minutes setting it up. 

Lastly, remember this.  It doesn’t matter how old your child is when you start having quiet time.  Just start where you are.  Expect it to be difficult at first.  You can even introduce it by being honest…. “I want to teach you a new skill.  It’s called independent play.  This is how we will learn it…”  When we take the time to explain what is happening, the response is often great. 

I would love to hear from you in the comments.  Do you have a quiet time in your home? How do you make it happen? Did you find any of these tips helpful? Can you share some new ideas and tips to start the habit of quiet time? 

Thank you for reading and following along.  

-Lizzie