I Stopped Doing These Five Things, and Parenting Got a Little Lighter

Not easier. Lighter. There's a difference, and it might be the shift you've been missing.

My book But I’m Bored is available now...

First, I want to welcome all the new people... I love it over here on Substack, where I can shed the trends and algorithms and write to the community the way I wish I had someone write to me when I was newer to motherhood. My kids are 18, 16, and 13 now, but I still remember the mental math of making it to preschool pick up and back without my youngest falling asleep in the car seat and blowing nap time.

And while I grieve the little kid years something awful, I also want to freeze my kids as teens. Seeing them step into the larger world is an indescribable joy, heartbreak, and everything in between.

Please know that you have so much to look forward to.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for letting me into your sphere of parenting influence. I don’t take it lightly.

I Stopped Doing These Five Things, and Parenting Got a Little Lighter

I stopped turning every meal into a battle I needed to win. Being in charge of meals and snacks all day long for three little kids is exhausting, but I took that on as part of my job. I’d meal plan, I’d pre-cut veggies and fruits, and sometimes I’d even make homemade dips. I made snack trays and poured cereal and scrambled eggs.

Controlling whether they ate it or not was something I had to let go of. Sometimes it was Sprite and a Happy Meal. Sometimes it was green smoothies at home. I stopped sweating it.

My kids were always on the smaller side, growth chart-wise, which makes sense since my husband and I are both small. But my third? She was a NICU baby and was diagnosed with “failure to thrive” as an infant, and even just typing that makes me shiver. Today, thirteen years later, I still have a visceral reaction to the newborn scale when I take the kids to the pediatrician. And my daughter is still tiny, and I still kinda stress over her growth, but I refuse to monitor her food intake. Sometimes she’s picky and eats like a baby bunny, and sometimes she throws back egg sandwiches topped with hot sauce and a side of pancakes like a 257lb linebacker in the NFL. No rhyme or reason, but she is in charge.

I stopped worrying when my kids had a meltdown in public. Kids freak out. It’s normal. It says nothing about me as a parent.

I am a recovering "good girl" who spent her childhood not rocking the already very turbulent boat at home. I won praise and approval for never acting out, especially in public. And I am not going to sugarcoat this…

The rest is for my paid subs.

ICYMI, I’m raising the paid subscription price from $5 to $8/month starting Sunday, February 23rd. If you’re already a paid subscriber, nothing changes; you’re locked in at $5/month forever. If you’ve been thinking about upgrading to paid, now’s the time to lock in the lower rate. I’m going all-in on Substack this year with more posts, more resources, and a few things I’m really excited about.