“Is this a thing?” Parenting Questions We’re All Asking (Part Two)

Understanding our kids beats trying to “fix” them every time

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I wrote this post to feel like the conversations we don’t get to have in the pickup line or over coffee. We are all racing around with a million thoughts in our heads, and if you are like me, the ones about your kids take the spotlight. For me, it starts with, “My kid keeps…” or “Wait, is this a thing,” that keeps my mind racing and my texts to my best friends firing.

I took some of my most frequently asked questions from you guys, the conversations I’m having in my DMs, with private clients, and my friends, and I answered them here for my amazing Substack community.

And at the end of the day, I am always trying to remember (and remind you) that I don’t need to fix my kids, I just need to understand them a little better.

Here’s what you’ll find inside this post:

  • My 3-year-old says, “I don’t know how,” or “Can you help me?” whenever he plays

  • I struggle with how much to play with my kids vs. when to encourage independent play

  • How do I handle my teen’s friend who is always causing drama? It’s so stressful.

  • I have a 10, 7, and 5-year-old. How does play change as they get older, and how can I support them?

  • I think I’ve given my kids too many options for play, and now nothing keeps them interested anymore

  • My kids won’t play with toys. They just jump around on furniture and are physical all day

  • My 7.5-year-old struggles to acknowledge feelings, praise, and compliments.

This isn’t about perfect play spaces or getting it all right. Instead, it’s aiming to understand what your kids need right now, and doing the best you can to meet them there.

Q: My 3-year-old says “I don’t know how” or “Can you help me?” whenever he plays.

This is so normal at three. And sometimes they really don’t know how. Their ideas are bigger than their skills right now, and that gap is frustrating.

But here’s what’s also happening: They’re checking in. “Are you available? Will you come? Do you see me?” It’s connection-seeking as much as it’s help-seeking.

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5 Things I’m Doing to Stay Close to My Teens