It's Okay if They Cry at Drop-Off
What preschool is really teaching them, and how to get them talking about their day.
I was holding my breath all morning after preschool drop-off, and I didn’t even know it until I started to feel shaky and a little dizzy in that way that only arrives from too much caffeine on not enough sleep and/or a straight shot of breath holding anxiety.
Was he crying?
Did he pee his pants again?
Would he talk during snack this time or just sit there like a baby deer in headlights?
My best friend with kids a few years older than mine had told me, in detail, how relieved I’d feel once my child started school. That I’d get to use those few hours to run errands, fold laundry, or take a walk in the woods. That I would have a few hours every day to reconnect with “the old me,” whoever that long lost girl was. And I liked the mom-version of myself, and didn’t really feel like I needed to connect to the old me.
Wait, should I just homeschool my kids? Why am I even sending them to school? They’re so little…. No. That was just my anxious loop talking again. I was a firm believer, even then, in the benefits of a great preschool program.
But the first day of school was looming, so close I could almost feel that quiet car ride home. And then I dropped them off, and all the physical chaos of having kids underfoot just moved into my head. One constant loop:
Was he okay?
Did his teacher like him?
Would he make friends? Would I?
Was this a “good day?”
If you’ve ever stood at preschool pickup, trying to make small talk while also juggling a baby and trying desperately to quiet the fuzzy “was it a good day” anxiety, all while waiting for your preschooler to burst through that door, this post is for you.
Behind the paywall:
What I trained myself to do at pickup instead of interviewing for disaster (and the 4:45pm pregnant-at-Target story that explains why)
The same conversation with my kid, twice: the version that got me “Nothing” and “Nope,” and the version that got the whole story about the red paint and Daniel’s sneakers
The wins to look for this fall that don’t look like wins, so you can stop grading the day on whether anyone cried
