I Took a Nap Today. On a Thursday. In the Middle of the Workday.
We Had Visitors Every Single Week Since July and I Would Do It Again
Oh wow, I am tired.
I don’t know if it is run-of-the-mill, end-of-summer tired, or my-oldest-just-left-for-college-and-my-heart-aches tired. I don’t know if it is the we-live-at-the-beach-and-we’ve-had-nonstop-visitors-every-week-since-early-July tired. But I took a nap today, on a Thursday, in the middle of the workday.
This summer I have had my sister and my three nieces from CO, and my brother, his wife, and my niece and nephew from NJ. My son’s girlfriend came from Texas, twice. My son’s college roommate from OH was here for a week. My best friend and her husband for a few nights. My other best friend and her daughter for a night. And I’m probably forgetting a few.
We’ve also hosted countless dinners with our three teens and a revolving door of their friends for impromptu pasta nights, backyard grilling and s’mores in the fire pit, and for Nate’s birthday we did Chipotle catering (which is so easy, and if you have teens, 10/10 recommend).
It has been a really special summer spent surrounded by the people we love. My youngest, 13, went to sleep away camp for a month, my middle, 16, has been pulling 40 hour work weeks at her lifeguarding job, and my oldest juggled his job as a bike mechanic with a rigorous training schedule and getting his instrument rating (he is a pilot and a D1 distance runner in the Big 10).
This summer, I kept looking at my husband, and marveling at our kids, and the life we’ve built here in MA. It didn’t come easy, and while I do not wish the years of worrying, advocating, stressing, tossing and turning on anyone, and I’m not glad they happened, I am newly grateful for the calm I feel right now.
I wrote about the worst of it here, and the one sentence my therapist gave me that changed how I got through it:
And after nineteen years of parenting, I am just finally starting to understand that learning to ride all the waves, the fun ones, the choppy ones, and the ones that toss you so hard you can’t tell which way is up, is my parenting goal. Maybe not learning to ride them, so much as learning to release myself into them and then get up, brush myself off, and get back out there.
Yesterday morning my 16 year old daughter and I took the dogs to the beach, and a mom of a 4-year-old and an 18-month-old came up to tell me she loves my Substack, and how it helps her remember that she is not failing. That moment mattered to me, because she articulated, out loud, the exact goal I set for myself a few years ago. Back then I was lost. I was chasing Instagram numbers, building courses because that's what everyone said to do, taking brand deals that didn't feel like me, and I didn't know how much longer I could keep showing up here.
Someone asked me, what do you really want? And I immediately and confidently replied: I want people to feel grounded and empowered. I want them to know that they don’t have to do everything right. I want to help them the way I wish someone had helped me when I was a young mom, battling perfectionism, and trying a thousand ways to do parenting “right.”
I really hope my content can be that for you. A break from the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts,” and a place where you can come to grab an idea that works, and be reminded that you can do everything “right,” and your child will still have tantrums. They will still have bouts of picky eating, night waking, and talking back. And that it’s not because you did anything wrong. It’s because you are human and so are they.
And today, as I write to you from my yellow striped couch on my front porch, with my stinky, sandy, ocean-drenched dogs sleeping at my feet, the first of the brown crunchy leaves are starting to fall on my lawn. I miss Nate, I am anxious about the next few weeks as we transition back to a new school routine that is not sorted out yet, but I am full and grateful… and tired.
Thanks for being here for the ups and downs. I appreciate you. x Lizzie
Below, I am sharing links to everything we loved and used this summer hosting our friends and family from 4-49 years old from the toys that no one passed over, to the extra blankets I keep on hand for guests, to the scents I use to keep my home smelling good.
