There’s nothing wrong with your 3-year-old who doesn't want to follow 8 steps to make something that looks like the picture on the box. If you are drowning in craft supplies that no one is using, here is your permission to stop trying so hard and follow their lead instead.

Summer break arrives with this unspoken pressure to fill endless hours with "meaningful activities." Pinterest boards overflow with elaborate crafts, and social media makes us feel like every moment should be Instagram-worthy. But after years of teaching and parenting my own three big kids, here’s what I know: play and art happen naturally when we match the materials to where our kids are developmentally and let them take the lead.

Do you know what really makes me spiral? Craft kits marketed to two- and three-year-olds that require an adult to do most of the work. Same with those cookie-cutter preschool projects where kids are expected to copy the teacher’s example. GAH. That’s not art. Give me a gloopy, child-led collage any day. The kind that’s proudly their own, not “assembled” to meet adult expectations.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good craft for older kids and adults. But many parents assume their child just “isn’t into art” when really, they’ve only experienced over-structured “art” activities. Kids don’t need to make cutesy crafts. Art for young children shouldn't mean structured outcomes. If you have kids under 8ish, forget the aesthetic crafts and instead, let them get confident using basic art supplies paired with their own imagination.

Here’s why:

Crafts require kids to follow detailed instructions to carry out someone else's ideas. That’s not fun, it’s fine motor skills practice in disguise. They do that all day long at school and they won’t want to do it at home.
A craft has a defined endpoint. You’ll hear “I’m done!” in less time than it took you to set up. Creative freedom means longer engagement and more focus. It also means less time and money wasted on complicated crafts.

Open-ended art boosts creativity, problem-solving, emotional development, and self-regulation. It meets them where they are. A four-year-old painting a shell is doing the exact work their brain craves. A twelve-year-old layering napkin patterns? Same. But if switch those two projects, you can cue the meltdown (yours and theirs).

4 Questions to Ask Before Starting Any Activity

Before you pull out the craft supplies or set up an activity, ask yourself these four questions. They'll help you determine if what you're planning will actually engage your child or just frustrate both of you:

1. "Can my child do most of this independently, or will I be doing the work?"

If you find yourself thinking "I'll just help with this part... and this part... and maybe this part too," that's your cue to simplify or save it for later. Age-appropriate activities should have your child as the primary creator, not you as the assembly line manager.

2. "Is there room for my child to make it their own way?"

Look for activities where there's no single "right" outcome. If the end result must look exactly like the picture on the box or the example you found online, it's probably too structured for young children. The best activities have multiple ways to succeed.

3. "Will my child stay engaged for longer than it takes me to set up?"

If setup takes 15 minutes but your child will be "done" in 5, that's a mismatch. Age-appropriate activities tend to hold children's attention because they can explore, experiment, and problem-solve at their own pace.

4. "Does this match where my child is right now, not where I think they should be?"

This is the big one. A 3-year-old who's obsessed with pouring and dumping isn't "behind" because they can't follow multi-step craft instructions. They're exactly where they need to be. Meet them there, and save the detailed projects for later.

Tip: If you answer "no" to any of these questions, it doesn't mean the activity is “bad,” it just might not be the right fit for your child right now. Save it for later or adapt it to better match where they are today.

Shell Art

A few weeks ago, I posted the viral tik tok shell craft on my IG for tweens and teens, and as I sat down to write it out for substack, I started imagining my readers, many who are parents of littles, and I wanted to create something that their kids would find equally engaging. Let’s walk through this (with images and links), adjusted for four different age groups:

Toddlers:

Set-Up:

Shallow water bin or deep baking dish
Dish soap (whisk to make bubbles)
A sponge + shells

Let them: Splash, scrub, pour, pretend. This is sensory gold perfect for a toddler. You can also do this in the bathtub or a kiddie pool!

Preschoolers:

Set-Up:

Washable tempera paint, you don’t need a lot
Paint brushes
A few large shells
Large towel, drop cloth or paper under everything. Protect the space more than you think you’ll need to.

Let them: Paint the shells, the paper, or themselves. You can let them dry and display them or let them wash them in soapy water and paint them again.

Pro Tip: If you are worried about mess, and you can’t take this outside, set them up on the shower floor or on the floor of the bathtub. When they are finished turn on the water and the mess is cleaned up!

Early Grades:

Set-Up:

Acrylic paint markers
A few shells
Glue + glitter, pom-poms, random bits and bobs
Optional: Low-heat glue guns

Let them: Decorate however they want. Don’t give them “steps.” Give them space or make your own alongside them.

For Tweens + Teens:

This is the full viral shell craft. They’re ready for details and instructions.

Set-Up:

How To:

Clean and dry shell, coat with a thin layer of Mod Podge
Peel the napkin (just use the top pattern layer)
Press it into the inside (smooth side) of the shell
Seal with another Mod Podge layer
Dry, then add rim detail with a metallic marker (If you are impatient like me, you can dry it quickly with the cool setting on your hairdryer. )

I shared this on IG because it brought my tween and her friends together around a table, snacking, chatting, and hanging out. I don’t put out crafts and snacks for my tween and her friends because they need entertainment. I do it to say: come on in, you’re welcome here. Put your feet up. Be a kid. Your presence matters. Especially for tweens and teens who are under so much pressure with school, sports, and social stuff, they need somewhere to just be. If I can provide that space? I’m in.

When we stop trying to manage every step of the process, we get to be the calm background. Refilling snacks, witnessing creativity, and being with our kids in their element. That’s my favorite part.

Whether you lean into open-ended art or occasionally reach for a structured craft, making things at home can get messy and wild. Protect your space, keep it simple, and try to remember, the mess is worth it.

If you want to keep up with more Workspace for Children content, follow along on Substack by clicking HERE.

If this post resonated with you, I’d love it if you gave it a like, left a comment, or shared it with a friend who might need a little reminder that mess and magic can go hand in hand. Thanks for being part of The Workspace for Children community.