My Teens Scrolled All Week. They Also Played.
The game nobody played until I moved it to the kitchen / the toys and supplies and how to set them up by age, toddlers through teens / my take on screens when friends are over
I am a mom of three teens, and last week my kids spent time scrolling and texting, watching movies and playing video games. And they drew, used clay, and played with toys.
Inside this post are three things they played with last week as they came in and out of the house doing their teenage thing. (And how to recreate them for your younger kids too.) And why I believe kids can use screens AND be kids who still love to play.
And in case you are new here, I want to be so clear on something. I am not anti-screen. My goal was never to replace screens for my kids. Instead, I wanted to make play as easy to start as turning to a device.
We can all make play a little easier to start by making it visible and accessible. And when we find a few moments to put something out? Everyone plays. Little kids, big kids and even adults.
A few weeks ago, I wrote THIS POST and so many of you hit reply asking me to make it a series so that you can have simple ideas right at your fingertips, whenever you need them. It’s a lighter read than The Something Playful Edits, which, I am so excited to announce, will be returning next week!! Not sure if it’s a good fit? This FREE seven day trial unlocks the archives so that you can check it out paywall free.
My girls (sixteen and thirteen) scrolled and played their fair share of video games this week. Of course they did. They are teens. But they also played, created, connected and laughed, and it felt good for everyone.
My oldest? He’s nineteen and across the country, and I’d bet he spent some time on screens this week too. And I am okay with that. I did too.
And if your kids are still little and you’re navigating the balance? Read this. Because this is how things looked when my kids were little.
How to Use Screens Without Letting Them Take Over Childhood: A Guide for the Middle Ground Parent
Someone messaged me this week asking if I let my kids play video games when their friends are over. Keep reading to the bottom for my take on that.
A Game of Balance and Weight
I put this on my coffee table in the den a few weeks ago… and nothing happened. No one played with it. At first, I thought, “Huh. Must be a dud.” I was glad I tested it before I shared it.
And then, instead of boxing it up, I moved it to the kitchen. Just to see what might happen…
Later that day, I was in my office working when I heard laughing and competitive banter coming from the kitchen. I poked my head around the corner and over Diet Cokes and Trader Joe’s Takis, my 16yo daughter and her boyfriend were rolling the dice and balancing the small wooden blocks on the swaying platform.
Weird, I thought to myself. Why now?
But then I realized, school started a few weeks ago and no one has really had time for movies or shows in the den. They just haven’t been in there at all, so that’s why no one played with it. Once I put the game in the kitchen, it got played with all weekend long. By everyone.
I love this swaying pendulum game for preschoolers through adults because there are no complicated rules to remember, no set number of people, and it’s light and fun. This one would make a great table top toy during the holidays when there are mixed ages spending time together.
Preschoolers:
Put this on a low table in your kitchen. Play the first round together, and then let them keep experimenting with weight and balance on their own while you do what you need to do. Don’t be a stickler about “the rules.” Let them keep it open ended and play how they want.
Grade Schoolers:
Put this out with an after school snack. Don’t ask them anything about their day, be intentionally quiet as you play together. I have a feeling details of the school day will come spilling out. Read more about how to get them talking about their day HERE.
Older Kids and Adults:
Put it on a tray and leave it out on the coffee table! I am absolutely putting this on our counter top the next time we have adults over for drinks.
We Cannot Stop Coloring With These Markers
Put the markers and paper out on the counter. Take them out of the box. Lay them out, with a long sheet. Stop hesitating and just do it.
Last Saturday night, our plans cancelled at the last minute and instead of heading out, my husband and I ordered in tacos with our girls and a few of their friends. On Friday, I’d set out a long sheet of butcher paper taped to the counter with the markers and some colored pencils. They were still there.
These markers are smooth, dry quickly, and they are so washable that they basically rub off your hands with a tiny drop of water. But what I didn’t realize at first is that you can layer them and blend them out.
When I set them out, my 13 year old put down her phone, where she’d been sitting on the couch playing Block Blast for way too long, and started drawing. I didn’t ask her to. But she saw me making some lines and dots and wandered over, and before we knew it, we were both phones down, coloring.
Later that day she was back at the counter with her best friend. The two of them sat there chatting, coloring and eating mac and cheese. I grinned as I walked past because I knew that if the markers had been put away, and the paper sitting on a shelf, this never would have transpired.
Back to the Tacos…
Between crunchy salty bites, and scoops of fresh guac, the teens were… coloring! High schoolers and middle schoolers. Coloring.
My husband and I shared a quick glance over their heads, because we both felt it at the same time… that sense of warmth that fills you when you’re surrounded by your kids and they are content and laughing with you. And if you have teens, you know that this can be a rarity. So if things have been tense at your house with your teens and tweens, try coloring. It really loosens things up.
Preschoolers:
Don’t put out the whole set of markers at once. It comes with a lot and younger kids can get overwhelmed by too many choices. Instead pull out five or six markers and lay them out on top of a long sheet of butcher paper. If you think they’ll be hesitant to start (you know your kid best) you can draw a few big squares and rectangles. Put out a snack or their lunch next to it and see what happens! (If you have toddlers, try these silky washable crayons instead of the markers.)
Grade Schoolers and Teens:
Put out the paper, and the whole set of markers. I put them in this container and included these and was surprised how much the kids used both the markers and the pencils.
The Clay Kit
When my kids were little we loved this kind of foamy air dry clay. I have never been big on slime, but this smooth, bright clay came in a close second for the kids and I loved it because it didn’t stick to hair and clothes. But stuffing the unused clay back into tiny plastic bags it came in was a CHORE and no one wanted to do it, so we ended up wasting clay and money. And eventually I stopped buying it. And then, I found this kit. And I cannot stop raving about it.
Preschoolers and Kindergartners:
Skip the tools that it comes with, and let them use their hands. Preschoolers are still developing hand strength and fine motor skills, and using their hands to roll, stretch and create will be more fun than struggling with tools that are designed for older hands. The goal is independence, and when you give them tools designed for older kids, they’ll need to keep coming to you for help.
Don’t encourage them to make anything. In fact, don’t even say anything about them making things that will dry and they can keep. Let it be more of a sensory experience, and then squish it all back up and put it away for another day.
Grade Schoolers:
Leave the tools, and let them decide what to make. Take away the instructions before you set it out so that they are working from their own brains instead of trying to replicate a craft or idea meant for older children who are more skilled. Follow their lead. If they ask to make something to keep, you can let it airdry over night and in the morning you’ll have a light, foamy, keepsake. I keep mine lined up on the fireplace mantel.
Tweens and Teens:
Now they are ready for you to leave out the instructions. My kids love to look up inspo on Pinterest. They’ve made fridge magnets, figurines and even a few little trinket dishes.
I love this kit, and I just ordered a few for holiday for my nieces and nephew because I’m a little worried they’ll sell out.
Screen Time When Friends Are Over
Someone messaged me and asked me if I let my kids play video games and watch screens when they have friends over. And here is what I told them:
There are lots of ways to navigate this depending on the ages and temperaments of your kids. But first, I want you to know that this is a hill I will absolutely die on:
Kids can use screens AND be kids who play.
It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
A few weeks ago my 13yo was in a girl pile on our basement couch, snacking, laughing and playing video games with her closest friends.
An hour before they were riding bikes.
An hour before that they were playing with Lego and making a mural out of colored tape.
Do I ever put a limit on screens for them? I do.
And when my kids were small, screens weren’t an option at playdates at our house. And they were an option at other people’s houses, and that was okay with me. I controlled the controllables.
But for my 16yo and 19yo? I wouldn’t dare dictate screens or no screens when their friends are over. At this point, I’m even hesitant to do it for my seventh grader. It’s important to me that my kids use screens while they still live in our home and I can help them navigate the balance.
When I feel like they are living on screens instead of in the real world, I try to get curious about what’s going on. It usually has nothing to do with a screen. Now that they are teens, my role is less about deciding for them, and more about helping them make healthy-ish choices for themselves.
I feel the same way about food. I don’t tell them what they can and can’t eat, but I do try to keep healthy and delicious options ready for them when they are hungry. Make sense?
If you have kids who love gaming and screens, and you want to help them find a little more balance, THIS POST will help you create the bridge between screens and IRL play.
Big kids don’t outgrow play. They lose time and they lose access to materials.
The time I can’t give back to them. The access I can.
Put something out on your kitchen counter and watch your kids get back to it.
I have more ideas than this, and I am stopping here so I don’t overwhelm you, but if this is the kind of thing you want more of, Something Playful is the paid series inside this publication.
Each edition takes one material, playdough, magnetic tiles, stickers, art supplies, board games, sensory toys, and tells you exactly what to put out, how much, and what to do when it stops working. Age by age, toddlers through teens.
That’s it for today, I hope you have a great week ahead. What are you going to put out first?
Thank you for being here. x Lizzie
Please re-stack this post or drop a heart, it helps me more than you know!
You can find everything I linked in this post HERE.
